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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29852901">Hypothetically</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/trapanroT/pseuds/trapanroT'>trapanroT</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sally Face (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:26:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29852901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/trapanroT/pseuds/trapanroT</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"What's f*ck, marry, kill?" Asked Sal with genuine curiosity.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hypothetically</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>English is not my first language.<br/>Love, Ju xx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"... And this is why dead bodies do, in fact, fart." Todd concluded in front of an attentive audience.</p><p>"Yes! I knew it!" Exclaimed Larry.</p><p>"No way! Thank you for clearing that up, Todd." Sal chimed in.</p><p>"To think I'm spending all my time with you dorks and having these highly intellectual debates instead of, I don't know, hanging with other girls my age. Right now I could be braiding hair at a sleepover, gushing over boy bands and playing <i>fuck, marry, kill</i>." Ash rolled her eyes playfully.</p><p>"What's <i>fuck, marry, kill</i>?" Asked Sal with genuine curiosity.</p><p>"Just a stupid game." She replied. "You are forced to choose between three people, like celebrities or something, one for each." She replied.</p><p>"I see." Mused Sal.</p><p>"For example, Todd added. There's three of you guys. Hypothetically. I guess I would... Marry Ash, my grandmother would be pleased for sure. Then... Fuck Sally? I mean, knowing you, I'm sure you'd be respectful and open to communication throughout. No offense Larry, but I got a feeling you'd be the kind of guy who likes pain and being tied up."</p><p>"Excuse me!?" Larry choked indignantly.</p><p>"... And I would have to kill you, because I still haven't forgiven you for breaking my GameCube. All hypothetical, of course." He finished calmly.</p><p>Larry threw his hands up in protest. <br/>"Seriously?"</p><p>Ash laughed.<br/>"Okay, let's see... I would definitely marry you, Todd, if only to shut up your bigoted relatives... We've established that Larry would be awkward in bed and into weird stuff. I agree that Sally would definitely be a better lover, super caring and everything. Sorry my dude, that leaves us with 'kill Larry' again!"</p><p>"This is oddly uplifting." Sal chuckled, a bit embarrassed.</p><p>"This is dumb, I hate this game!" Larry groaned.</p><p>Todd had to admit that it was childish, but getting a rise out of him was pretty funny.<br/>"Come on, we're just kidding."</p><p>"Alright, fine! Larry was sulking. I'm killing Todd because you jerk killed me first. Marry Sally. It's logic, you're my best bud and we're practically hanging out together 24/7 anyway. Then I'd fuck Ash because at least she's a girl with tits and stuff!"</p><p>"Gee, thanks. Very validating." Ashley snarked.</p><p>"You just killed me as well!" He reminded her.</p><p>"I suppose we should go back to discussing unsavory phenomena such as corpses' bodily functions before this turns into a fight." Todd declared.</p><p>"Wait, Sal piped up. I want to try too!"<br/>"I think I would... kill Todd. Listen, you're so brilliant, we could fake it real good and you'd be fine! No need for anyone to die!"</p><p>"Aw, I don't really think the game works like that." Said Ash.</p><p>"Alas science have yet to find a way to cheat death." Added Todd.</p><p>"Marry Ash, Sal continued. I mean, you're pretty and clever and a total badass. We can have a big party with everyone, fancy dresses, massive cake..."</p><p>"Sounds good, I want a purple gown and lots of booze! Oh, and Gizmo can be the ring-bearer!" The girl agreed enthusiastically.</p><p>"Then, in theory, I guess I would fuck Larry. <br/>We are the closest and you're the first person I've ever been able to open up to. I hadn't really shown my face to anyone else before...<br/>When and if it comes to that sort of things, I would want it to be with someone I'm a hundred percent comfortable with."</p><p>"Interesting..." Todd remarked quietly.</p><p>"I knew I could count on you buddy! Larry cheered. See, Sally's a real friend, not like you vile traitors!"</p><p>"It's just a funny game, don't be such a baby. You know we love you, Lar-Bear." Said Ash.</p><p>"We love you and your masochistic tendencies." Todd added gleefully.</p><p>"I'm not- I don't... Screw you guys!" Stammered Larry, blushing. "Sally! I know you're laughing too, stop it right now!"</p><p>"Hey Sal, you should bite him or something so he stops whining." Ash giggled.</p><p>"GAH!... You guys can all go <b>marry, kill and fuck yourselves</b>!!" <br/>The other three burst out laughing.</p>
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